Riding the Waves of Life's Transitions

Ever sailed the tumultuous river of life transition, armed with nothing but hope and gratitude? Welcome to the journey of our guest, Charlie Koch, who transforms his life's transitions into opportunities of growth and awakening. Through his weekly family meetings, Charlie discovered the power of Gratitude Blooming, a practice that not only helped him navigate through life's ups and downs but also laid the foundation for an active, empowering life. Harnessing the power of gratitude, Charlie shares how he found a way to explain infinite possibility to a 6-year-old and illustrates the flow of time and possibilities using a riveting river metaphor.

From a passive life, Charlie takes us through his transformation to an active life, using his life transitions as a springboard. He divulges his strategies for introspection and way-making, reminding us of the importance of accepting and acknowledging our emotions, even during times of transition. By building his proverbial raft and identifying core values, he illustrates how we could ride the waves of change with grace and resilience. As we paddle down the river with Charlie, we embrace the unknown, the possibilities it offers, and the vulnerability it exposes. Remember, it's not just about navigating the river, it's about enjoying the raft ride of life's transitions with a dash of humility, courage, and of course, gratitude.

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Chapters

• 0:11 Finding Gratitude in Life Transitions
• 7:46 Navigating Transition and Embracing Vulnerability
• 17:00 Embracing Vulnerability and Transition

Transcript

Omar Brownson: 0:11

Hello Belinda, Hi Omar, What is this week's practice?

Belinda Liu: 0:18

Well, i'm so excited to have Charlie Cook as our guest today to do a live practice, and this is actually the first time we've had someone we've quoted on the podcast as a testimonial. now show up live for our podcast practice.

Omar Brownson: 0:37

Welcome Charlie.

Belinda Liu: 0:39

Yes.

Charlie Koch: 0:40

Thank you, really good to be here. As both of you know, i'm a huge fan of everything you're doing, so it's really great to be here And thanks for having me.

Omar Brownson: 0:49

This is what we hope for is a growing gratitude ecosystem. So we appreciate you listening, We appreciated you sending in your note, just letting us know how the podcast has been helping you in your life And now welcoming you to the show.

Charlie Koch: 1:08

Yeah, it's amazing to be here, Thanks.

Belinda Liu: 1:10

Charlie, i would love to start with you just sharing your story of how you found the podcast, because it's such an interesting point in your life how you found us and the role that Gratitude Blooming is playing right now in this part of your life and this cycle. Please share.

Charlie Koch: 1:29

Yeah for sure, yeah. So this time, about a year ago, i found myself in quite a transitional phase. My turn 40, quit drinking, moved from Seattle, a big city, to a smallish town called Bellingham And, like many others in this time, lost my job all within a few months. So found myself in a very interesting transitional period And so, you know, really learned a lot through the course of the last several months as I've been sort of navigating this. And it started with kind of reframing the transitional period from something that was happening to me to something that was happening first and then something that was happening for me later, through a lot of work that sort of I've been doing. It started out by really sort of giving myself time to kind of process the transition and all of the change. And you know there's a lot of emotions that happen with these transitions, and so it felt, you know, quite a bit it was a lot all at once, and so did a couple of things.

Charlie Koch: 2:39

I think one was strengthening my mindfulness practice, so really leaning into meditation and mindfulness.

Charlie Koch: 2:47

But also found gratitude and found, you know, some research that I know that you all have talked about in the past that's out there about the power of gratitude and happened upon the podcast just in searching for practice and content and sort of found gratitude blooming that way And really from there, you know I've sort of built, you know, your practice and my own out of all the great lessons you guys have shared to the point where you know it's part of our family's weekly meeting every week where we talk about the card deck and we pull a card and my kids are, you know, six and eight. So you know we have a little bit of an explaining to do on some of the themes But you know it's actually pretty great to hear them ask questions and be curious about what these themes mean and, you know, make it a part of our week. So that's sort of the story of how I got involved with y'all and sort of built the practice of gratitude into my life.

Omar Brownson: 3:54

I really appreciate that framing of these things happening to me to really these things are happening for me and you know, and it's just like we're moving from kind of this passive life is happening and to really like no, we have a role and we can kind of disrupt that brain's biological bias to focus on the negative. And then I love it that you, they created as a social practice, right, this is what I've always loved about gratitude as a social emotion is that it's not just about you.

Omar Brownson: 4:28

And so when you can find practices whether it's family or friends or you know, just being part of the gratitude blooming podcast community is like all of a sudden you know, like you realize you're not alone, and when you can have these practices, it's like okay, yeah, this is possible, this is all for me.

Belinda Liu: 4:48

Yeah, it's like buy one, get one free, right like get something for yourself, get something for somebody else and you know I love that you. It did something for you and then you brought it as a family ritual and I'd be curious what was the latest theme that showed up for your family recently?

Charlie Koch: 5:07

Yeah, it was infinite possibility, card number 27, so the Delphinium. So possibility is a great word to describe, you know, this moment of transition, sort of. I'm kind of right in between this place of, like, you know, had my old job and old career and starting a new one a week and a half, and so it's kind of a lot of things are possible as I sort of look towards the future. So, yeah, it was a great one. Another one that took a little bit of for the six year old, a little bit of what does that mean, what does infinite mean, which led us down a pretty interesting but great conversation. So that was great.

Omar Brownson: 5:48

Any takeaway of how you explain infinite to a six year old.

Charlie Koch: 5:53

Oh man, i wish I could. I wish I could like eloquently put it. But yeah, it was a lot of sort of no ending. You know it's sort of flowing. I I've been really kind of obsessed with this river metaphor lately and sort of flowing and letting go, and you know I use that metaphor to talk about, you know, kind of the flowing of time and the flowing of sort of the infinite possibility that exists.

Omar Brownson: 6:20

But I think, when you were looking for podcasts to help ground you in that initial moment of transition, i think you mentioned to us offline that it was really the nature element that spoke to you and you know, and I feel like, how we ground even gratitude in a way that doesn't feel sort of like oh, everything is hunky, dory and fine and everything is awesome, like you know, like how do we ground these practices? and so I really appreciate that the nature element spoke to you.

Charlie Koch: 6:51

For sure I've always been sort of deeply connected and deeply rooted in nature, has spent a large part of my career working in that space to help protect the outdoors for all to enjoy, and you know that's where I sort of get my piece and have sort of built gratitude into that process. Actually, every morning go for a walk outside with the dog and you know practice gratitude, listen to the podcast and sort of explore the themes through that walk. But yeah, being outside and in nature also, you know there's obviously a lot of research as well showing that being in nature can have really positive, both mental and physical benefits. So it's like gratitude plus nature is like a magical combo of, you know, awesomeness for for your health, and I found that to be true for sure.

Omar Brownson: 7:42

Yes for magical combinations for our health. We need more of that.

Belinda Liu: 7:46

I love, charlie, that you and I actually got to spend time in Mount Shasta together. Not only did you find the breadcrumbs of gratitude blooming through the podcast, but then you heard about the retreat center in Mount Shasta and we got to spend time together with the card deck in each of these like meditation spots on the land. So I just love that, like you're kind of our superstar gratitude blooming pollinator.

Omar Brownson: 8:12

So moving Hestia here.

Charlie Koch: 8:15

Yeah well, you've got yourself a sober, sober middle aged unemployed Bellinghamster as your biggest fan. I'm not sure what that perfect, that's our demographic.

Belinda Liu: 8:27

Charlie, I know that transition has been a big part of this phase of your life and it is interesting how people find us at the right time of their life where they're really like, ready for you know, what has nature got to tell me about change, And so I'd love for you to take a moment and share, you know, for listeners who are going through a transition right now. What have you learned about transition? like navigating that gnarly, you know, time of being in the unknown and, and maybe for in this moment of your transition, not yet starting that job. So what is your intention or inquiry that you have that we can use as an anchor for our life practice today?

Charlie Koch: 9:09

Yeah, for sure I've learned a lot during this time. I've really used it to go inward and spend it really trying to better myself and create a new path forward. The first thing I would suggest is just don't miss that opportunity When the universe is telling you to rethink and talk. Go inward and learn what it is you want to be doing next. Don't miss that chance. That's something that I certainly feel really good about having done.

Charlie Koch: 9:43

It's sort of taking advantage of this time, which at first can seem like again, this horrible thing that's happening to you. You've lost your job and there's a ton of emotion that goes along with that. I know, just from the communities that I'm a part of, a lot of people are feeling it. There's grief involved in all the steps that go along with it. You've lost something. In many cases it's not just one thing, but many things. It's your job, it's your purpose, your mission, your partners, your friends, your collaborators. The first thing I would just say is don't shut that down. Let yourself go through that and feel it, because it's real, but it can be really turbulent at times.

Charlie Koch: 10:29

Again, they bring this metaphor of a river back, blinda, when I was on the land. That was not a creek, that was a river. It was moving and there's a lot of energy and water flowing through there. It can feel a bit violent at times to have so much water coming through and, in this case, emotion coming through. But there's also an entire industry called whitewater rafting that's built on the idea of having that be an exciting thing, not a terrifying thing. I think what I did was to continue this metaphor figure out how to build a raft. Let go and start to enjoy the raft of this time of transition, which is again something I'm really grateful for.

Charlie Koch: 11:19

But that's not a light switch, it's not something you can just flip and all of a sudden it happens.

Charlie Koch: 11:26

It's something that comes through work and practice and, like I said, mindfulness, work and gratitude, practice is a really big part of that. And then, when it comes to moving forward, understanding what's important to you, really using the space to figure out what those principles and key values are that can then point you down the river, when you start to reach a fork in the river, how do you know which way to turn it? It sort of starts to me with what's really important to you And for me, that's my family, it's the connection to nature, it's community around me and really having those sort of core principles and values to kind of guide the way is, i think, where you need to get to, but it's not. You can't go right to it. The path does not go straight to being able to have the space to kind of identify what's important to you and sort of help that have that guide you. You got to go through some work to get there. It's sort of my experience with it.

Omar Brownson: 12:32

So is there an intention that you'd like to share before we pull a card? You know, you said you've got your job starting soon And so, yeah, another kind of moment of transition now, kind of knowing everything that you've been through over the last year. You know what plant, what seed would you like to plant, you know, as an intention for this next phase.

Charlie Koch: 12:55

Yeah. I would say, finding a way and sort of what I've just described as being sort of more comfortable with the unknown and excited about the possibilities to come. So living in that space where you don't know the answer, the analogy I sort of use is like we're in a swamp, a little bit like you got to find your way out of the swamp. there's no clear path, and so finding a way to be more comfortable for the waiting through that swamp you know, and hopeful that there's something on the other side, that's really exciting.

Omar Brownson: 13:29

The swampy unknown. I think that might be a title of the podcast.

Belinda Liu: 13:35

I love that And I love how you're not jumping to you know clarity and just like hanging on to that like even though there is a job coming for you, you're still kind of the intention is still like how do I still be in that that place of like okay, knowing how it's going to go, which I think is really beautiful, like so often, you know you kind of go wait for, you're waiting to get to the next thing and like that's it, you're there, but you're saying, hey, like the next thing is still kind of unknown and how it's going to unfold, and let me be okay with that.

Omar Brownson: 14:12

And so the river keeps flowing, even if there is a quote you know something certain, like a job and you know, and I think this is the funny part right is that we actually all know what the end is right like we all die. You know there's maybe some questions, people have what happens next.

Omar Brownson: 14:27

but, like you know, there is general agreement that we die and like so, but until then it's actually all unknown. And so I, yeah, i agree. I'm just affirming that like reminder, like okay, just because we have like something that we feel a certain, like a job or a family or a relationship or whatever that thing is for you, i think staying in that place of movement is beautiful and I can't wait to see what card you pick.

Belinda Liu: 14:56

Charlie, this is might be a new look at the cards. They're scrambled and not in any particular order, and there's 123456 columns and seven rows. So I'll just move down or you can give me a number.

Omar Brownson: 15:15

Number two on row two is the one that stood out to me, and so part of you noticing you're looking at the back of the cards, and partly why we look at the back of the cards is that invites randomness, right like our brain isn't sort of circulating answers already. So let's see how, handling the swampy unknown, it looks like with the graduate building card Ooh, number nine Rose, representing the theme of vulnerability. It takes courage to be vulnerable. How can you show vulnerability to others? What can bloom from those connections? So, before answering the prompt, just looking at the art itself, what do you see?

Charlie Koch: 16:01

Yeah, i mean, rose is such a well-known flower and so it brings back a lot of memories and thoughts right away. But the first thing that I noticed is the petals falling. It's such a again well-known metaphor of the changing of time. When the petals fall, and so that's the first thing I'm drawn to is this beautiful flower, but its petals are falling and change is real in this card. And then the second thing I noticed is the small text that says all shall be well, which to me brings a real positivity, like we were talking about, and so it's sort of being comfortable in sort of the possibility and the unknown, but being also vulnerable and courageous through that process.

Omar Brownson: 17:00

And so now, as you look at the theme and the prompt, particularly as it relates to your intention of how to be present to the swampy unknown, what comes up for you?

Charlie Koch: 17:14

Yeah, i think another word that's sort of coming up for me is humility, and I think those two words are sort of related, at least in my mind of going into sort of the unknown with an open mind and an open heart and feeling able to sort of withstand whatever might come your way and whatever you might find down the river, sort of bringing vulnerability but also humility into that moment. I think is the again the place to sort of help both not let whatever that might be consume you either way, if it's negative or positive, and just accepting it for what it is, and that it's another spot down the river to sort of appreciate and enjoy sort of what comes to mind for me.

Belinda Liu: 18:21

I'm struck too by how transitional moments or new beginnings or endings can be so vulnerable. you know it's like, oh, i'm so like, you know like trying to brace myself for what's next. and I'm really struck in the prompt by the word courage. Like it does take courage to be, to put myself out there, and especially in a new environment and in a new context, you know, a new transition, a new community. So I really feel that part of it too. It's like so tender And not, and it's like for me, looking at it's like a reminder to not harden as a way to protect, already like be defensive, but to like soften into that, that tenderness which is really kind of beautiful about this rose to.

Charlie Koch: 19:15

And there's something again about the leaves falling like it's. You know, in transitions you have to give up a part of yourself A little bit too, which is what I was talking about before. Like you know, there is some letting go that takes place in these transitions.

Charlie Koch: 19:31

and so you know, one of my sort of favorite quotes as of late as this let go or be dragged and sort of like there are some of this sort of going into this unknown is letting go and sort of flowing with it versus resisting it, And there's a little part of this sort of rose that that speaks to me there about transitions and having to let go.

Omar Brownson: 19:56

But I also appreciate about your metaphor of a river is when and rafting is, you have these moments where you put in and you take out, right, like the put-ins is like where do you enter the river and Where do you take out, like, where do you sort of take a step out and and I think Having and then I look at the word vulnerability and in the word is ability right, it it's something that you can strengthen, right, and and and I think because sometimes people like, oh, i don't know how to be vulnerable, i don't know like what is that?

Omar Brownson: 20:30

like authenticity, sort of mean and and and it's just like it's a muscle, it's something that we can kind of grow, and like how do we put ourselves in spaces to strengthen that ability, right, and I feel like so, hey, maybe you used, you're not going to ride the whole, you know the whole river, you're just gonna ride a segment and just like, for this, for this hour, i'm going to practice being vulnerable. for this day, i'm gonna practice being vulnerable. for this week, i'm gonna practice and like where are those moments where we can go into a space and Kind of really intentionally, because we all need comfort, we all need security as well. and So finding those moments where we feel comfortable enough that like, okay, i can tackle this rapid with a little joy, right, like you know, it's okay, i know there's going to be some rapids That's part of this ride but I'm gonna tackle, like this section today and give myself that kind of freedom really.

Belinda Liu: 21:33

Well, thank you so much, Charlie, for putting yourself out there like I'm really struck by how you emailed us out of the blue to let us know you know How, where you were in your life and how we were, you know, connecting with you, what was going on for you without even knowing it, and Just putting yourself out there in all of those ways during this transition. I've learned a lot just from watching how you've been navigating it and and Finding new connections, just like in this prompt.

Charlie Koch: 22:05

Yeah, that's awesome, thank you. Yeah, it feels a little bit like the, you know, the, the vulnerability card is sort of staring right back at me when you say that like it does take In order to put yourself out there. It does take, you know, level of vulnerability. And, yeah, i mean just so grateful for everything you guys are doing and really resonated with me And I think, for those who are going through similar transitional moments, like Really hope that they, you know, can kind of hear what you guys are saying and the messages and the you know, really Dive into these themes and build their own practice.

Charlie Koch: 22:40

Because I feel like, again, these moments of transition can be so powerful, i think, and It can be really easy to be sort of consumed, i think, by all the Sort of emotions and all the river or all of the water going down the river can be overwhelming And gratitude is a great way in my mind, or has been a really important way to sort of build that raft And like start to let go and float and sort of enjoy that the unknown. So thank you for what you guys are doing and the role you've played and in sort of this transitional moment for me, Well, I love this.

Omar Brownson: 23:20

A raft of gratitude across the swamp of the unknown.

Belinda Liu: 23:25

It's gonna be a lovely title. Omar's been taking notes on this whole conversation So Well. Thank you so much, Charlie. We can't wait to hear how your journey unfolds. I know we will be in touch and I'm excited that people can be inspired by your journey through transition.

Charlie Koch: 23:44

Thank you so much. I appreciate the time All right.

Omar Brownson: 23:47

Wishing you well.

Belinda Liu: 23:48

Cheers, see you.