Gratitude Blooming Podcast

The power of a good (or even an uninvited) pause

• Gratitude Blooming • Season 3 • Episode 58

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Have you ever wondered how the power of pause can lead to achieving more? Today, we're joined by Emily Lynn Wendell, who takes us on her personal journey of battling an autoimmune condition while simultaneously building a business. Despite the challenges, Emily's story is one of resilience and creativity. She likens her experiences to building wire sculptures one wire at a time, a testament to her patience and determination.

Taking a step back from medical school due to her health situation, Emily redirected her passion for medicine into exploring integrative medicine, art and somatic work. Her unique blend of modalities, coupled with the importance she places on play and joy, makes for an intriguing insight into managing difficult circumstances. Emily's journey offers valuable lessons on the role of curiosity, patience, and playfulness in maneuvering through life's challenges.

In our closing conversation with Emily, we delve into the theme of self-cultivation and the journey of finding hope. Emily opens up about her use of Human Design to find focus amidst her health journey and the role of meditation in connecting with inner strength. Drawing inspiration from the Gratitude Blooming card deck, she shares her insights on patience, hope, and gratitude. Emily's journey serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of self-care, patience, and the transformative power of a good pause.

Join us to listen to the Gratitude Booming x Window Seat music collab: Self-care.

Find more about Emily's journey on IG at @emilylynn415

Get your own Gratitude Blooming card deck, candle and much much more at our shop at www.gratitudeblooming.com. Your purchase helps us sustain this podcast, or you can also sponsor us here.

If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to leave us a 5-star rating and review. Your feedback is valuable to us and helps us grow.

Share your thoughts and comments by emailing us at hello@gratitudeblooming.com. We love hearing from our listeners!

Omar Brownson:

Hello Melinda.

Belinda Liu:

Hey Omar.

Omar Brownson:

We have a wonderful guest joining us today. You want to introduce her.

Belinda Liu:

Yes, we have Emily Wendell here in studio as our special guest. I'm so grateful to our team member, susie Lee, for just making this introduction and, emily, I've heard so much about you ever since I've met Susie. As we talk about the vision and the mission of gratitude blooming, which is all about how do we navigate the journey of life through intentionality, making space to really reflect on the questions along the way, and one of the things that I'm just really loving is how much we're talking about the importance of the pause right now in our lives. So I'm really excited for this conversation, this live practice with you to see what season of life is unfolding for you right now and what the nature inspiration has to say today through the gratitude blooming cards, and we've been adding in a new closing practice of tuning into a song inspired by the card deck.

Emily Lynn:

Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. Like you said, our mutual friend Susie, as she shares more about gratitude, blooming and everything you guys do. There's so much overlap in what you do.

Omar Brownson:

It would be wonderful if you could just share with our listeners a little bit about your story and how did you come to? I saw your face just light up when Belinda said we're really focused on how do we invite people to pause. That doesn't always resonate with anybody, like with our go go, go sort of culture. The idea of go slow to go fast is sort of like maybe how about I just go fast? And we forget sometimes how disruptive it is to just pause. And what has sort of invited that disruption in your life to elicit such a smile?

Emily Lynn:

Belinda was talking about where you are in life now and how that connects to the pause. I would say there's sort of two big themes in my life. It's a big health journey. I have two immune conditions and I've been pretty sick for about seven years. It's sort of a long story but I was sort of on a path, living in Boston, going to go to medical school, kind of had this other life and ended up getting sick through a number of different sort of small health things that turned to big health things. I was misdiagnosed for four years and really got the conditions. I have progressed quite a lot so I got very sick and I'm in the process of working my way out of that, which is sort of a daily, hourly endeavor to just work my way towards stronger health. And then, in parallel, I would say, the other place I am is really focusing a lot on creativity and building this brand business. It sort of reminds me of gratitude, blooming in terms of bringing together lots of different things, but just growth in this. I guess it will be a business shortly that's coming forth through me. So those are the two sort of big things in my life.

Emily Lynn:

I think it's interesting with regards to this theme of pause. I was thinking about that because sometimes it feels like the opposite of pausing. When there's so much to rebuild in both spaces, right, like I'm rebuilding a lot physically, rebuilding a health, trying to build a business, burino, craft, a new life, all of that sounds like action, not pausing. And I guess what I've learned even more than just a single pause is about pacing. And the way pause kind of comes into that for me is sometimes when it feels like a lot to have these big tasks ahead, I kind of think of them in my head as like building wire sculptures, like one wire at a time and pausing when needed or going slow or just you know you can't do it all at once. So kind of embracing the one single step at a time in a paced way as counting as a pause, like it doesn't have to be a I'm completely off or completely on experience.

Belinda Liu:

I just love this visual of you weaving this metal sculpture and how much at different points it takes intricacy and like really being present, and other times maybe you're trying to get a few pieces in and it is a bit more of a fast pace. So it's a beautiful metaphor and physical example of that, like integrating and balancing.

Emily Lynn:

I think it might look like my life's quote been on pause for six years, as I've been, and for me it feels almost the opposite of pause in terms of so much is happening physically otherwise learning to sort of learning a whole new way of life, learning new things, learning a new direction. Just it feels active, even though on some sort of standard metric places it's been on pause. It just came to me as you were speaking.

Omar Brownson:

Sometimes, when we invite stillness, we realize how much is moving at any given moment. This morning a friend invited me to a meditation farm in Topanga, which is just like an hour north of Los Angeles, but, like you know, big city, and then all of a sudden we make a turn and we're on a dirt road. We're like, did we make a wrong turn? And how did we end up on this dirt road? And just really, this irony right that you can create this space of pause of this farm on a dirt road in the middle of this very busy city, and so it's something that we can both feel within ourselves. But it's also sometimes shocking how we can find these moments in the world around us. If you would take us maybe a little bit from that transition of like I'm going to med school and I have a very young daughter who is very interested in a career in medicine, and I'm like, are you sure you really want to do this?

Omar Brownson:

like and she just started AP Bio and it's like are you sure you really want to do this?

Omar Brownson:

because there's an irony to me that, like folks that are in medicine are so in their heads and yet it's really a study of the body and and it's so rigorous, like you're just learning all these like intricate things about biology and how the body works, and then to go from that like hardcore, like I'm going to make this commitment, to like, oh, my body can't do this right now and I've got a like real, that's a big adjustment just for the psychological shift alone. Besides just sort of addressing whatever those underlying health are. Maybe if you could just walk us through that transition both, maybe early on and then now, six years in, what has that meant for you and I? You know, I know that like you talk about somatic work and I'm sure that that wasn't, or maybe it was how you were thinking about the body six years ago.

Emily Lynn:

Yeah, wow that's. I haven't thought about that. To start, I would say, even back when I was sort of on the med school path, I was always interested in like the the sort of how can I change this or what could be different about medicine? Where is all the integrative health? How does creativity come in here? I was really involved in sort of the humanities and medicine programs. I was kind of always coming at it from this angle. That's a little different, you know, seeing as you described that hardcore science, you know rigor that is medicine and wanting to kind of bring in these other parts or see what could be done with them.

Emily Lynn:

So the transition, I would say the way it happened one was very I don't want to say body forced, but I was getting sick and I had these basic. I had these minor health events happen a concussion and a dental thing that had an infection and that we now know sort of set off this auto immune disease in my body and I was getting. I was quite sick and just getting really sick over the course of three years and the process of letting go of the medical school was sort of slow in that I like deferred a year, deferred another year and then finally was like, oh, this just isn't going to be a match. I would say the more organic way it happened, like those, that was sort of the logistics but… Hmmm, in terms of my interest, was, as I was sick, I stayed with that interest of medicine and healthcare and integrated medicine. Everything I was focused on. I stayed with that and those would be the courses I would take online, the podcasts I would listen to, where I dedicated my time to still learning, still thinking, oh, maybe one day I'll be a doctor and bring this new twist and I think it just it kind of happened.

Emily Lynn:

Naturally I was just going with what I was interested in as a patient and as someone interested in the healthcare system. I mean, I was very sad as I let go of my spot in medical school and that was obviously emotional, but I also was just on this path, as you said, of healing myself and going with what interests me. I guess I feel fortunate. I'm very interested in a lot of things. I'm really interested in creativity. I am the somatic stuff wasn't just to sort of get me through pain. I also found it interesting and I found it interesting how it connected to creativity and just if I do look where I am now. It is very different than med school, but it didn't feel like a stark transition. It felt like I was just going with the parts of it and branches of it that interested me along the way.

Omar Brownson:

And how would you describe somatic work? Because I think this is something that I feel like it's a word that it's sort of like meditation, like 20 years ago like meditation, or maybe 30 years ago meditation was like, oh, that sounds sort of new and edgy. I feel like somatic is our generation's word. That's like, hey, this is new and edgy, and so people are probably defining it in lots of different ways.

Emily Lynn:

Totally. Is it okay if I just share my personal dimension?

Omar Brownson:

Please, please, yeah.

Emily Lynn:

Many experts in somatics who would probably give a very academic answer To me. It's about exercises of with your mind, energy, body, attention, any tools at your disposal that I've used to sort of be with your body or with extreme physical sensations, and that can be pain or sickness, like feeling very sick, or the simplest way it was ever described to me is sort of like putting a soft hand over a hard fist, Like how you meet the experience going on. So in my mind it's like this again, I like the creativity approach because it keeps it a little more playful. It's like somatics to me is just a toolkit, or a playroom, or building up all these different paint palette, whatever you wanna call it to be, with whatever you're experiencing, which can be challenging.

Omar Brownson:

Yeah, I really appreciate you talking about play.

Omar Brownson:

This is something that I feel like I've really been trying to be more intentional about, like where can we bring joy and play into practices that can be heavy in part because you're talking about healing and so and I think, the creativity part of it.

Omar Brownson:

And I was just in a conversation with a dear friend who her work she calls mind body artist and for her it's what's the story that we're telling our body, and if we use play, then we can have a more creative approach to like chakras. For some people might be like, oh, that sounds very like woo-woo or heady, but if you're like, well, it's just a story that I'm telling my body and maybe it also happens to like line up with the endocrine system, and maybe you take a science point of view of like, oh, what is this happening to my body? Versus like, no, I'm gonna tell a story and that's how I'm gonna enter, and maybe that's what allows a little bit of that softness on something that is hard. I think that's just such a beautiful way to bring those things together and it feels like you've been weaving your own and how's that experience been going to sort of weave your own sort of set of modalities.

Emily Lynn:

Going back to my first topic about sort of wire by wire building things, I think the healing health world especially can be super overwhelming with the number of modalities, the things you, the number of sort of strong opinions that would, should or shouldn't be done. And it's sort of for me has been its own practice learning what's next in terms of medicine or treatment or healing modality for your own body. And I think, particularly having been, I spent about four years, you know, like I said, misdiagnosed, mis, just kind of jumbled around with treatments and things that weren't correct for me, which is not uncommon, I'm sure many share that, but it's its own practice. And another sort of wire building thing I have going on is learning how do you tell what's next?

Belinda Liu:

Well, I'm just really struck in your story by how who you are has not changed, even though life has had its way with you. And that's actually pretty different, you know, like for some people when life has its way with you it totally shakes everything up, whereas, like there were some internal pillars of who Emily is, that never changed, and so that's fascinating that those stayed the same while you adjusted your life around to continue to weave those things, those interests, thank you. And yeah, how did you cultivate that sense of self early on? Because I think that's a, that's a clue, you know, as we're finding our way, like how can we anchor in in those core aspects that never change of who we are?

Emily Lynn:

I'm going to use the word freedom, which to most, I feel like most people close to my life and my experience would say it's been the opposite freedom. I'm so limited, you know or have been by disease, in terms of what I can or can do or and just you could look at it through a lot of limitations.

Emily Lynn:

But the reason why I say freedom is it's also almost like I'm so off, the sort of step by step path I was on that it probably did give me a little more like I'm holding on to nothing. So I'm really just doing what I can and what I love in each moment, and that kind of brought those things forward. I also wouldn't be telling the whole story if I didn't share, like I did have a lot of help, I think, through different tools, through great professional help. But have you, there's a? There's a tool called human design.

Emily Lynn:

I'm not sure if you've ever heard of it. It's funny because I talk a lot about human centered design, like design, thinking and idea and human designs. It's such a similar name but so different. It's like a astrological, energetic Myers Briggs. For those listening who haven't heard of it, but it's akin to one of those sort of personality enneagram modalities and that. That really helped me. I came across it super randomly, I think, just like on Instagram, but learning about that and my type or and its encouragement to kind of just follow what makes you happy, as simple as that sounds, or what you're interested in. That has been a huge tool, I think, in maintaining my interests, my passions, like my core components, amidst something I could have never recognized.

Omar Brownson:

What was your personality type? That it said.

Emily Lynn:

In human design. The way they break it down is like energy types. I'm a projector, which doesn't have to. They're very random names, but a big feature of it is about just focusing on what fascinates you for this type, like just really trying to pare down to like, if I have 30 minutes where I can do something like, what sort of lighting you up or learning to pay attention to that I think really has helped keep some vibrance and core components going during all of this.

Belinda Liu:

Yeah, that modality is so intricate. I remember a friend of mine who, like people, are either like obsessed with it or like really turned off because it's so intricate. I know that I'm a generator and I have had friends kind of share about it and yeah, they map like numbers and dots along your systems. It looks acupunctual when you see the diagrams.

Emily Lynn:

Yeah, I definitely do not know all these. I just sort of, in sort of a private way, like to have taken that tool and just even the two basic things about the type and integrated that in as a way to keep try to keep focus on core parts of me that I want to keep.

Omar Brownson:

I think I'm a manifester in that model and I love what you just said about that last part, which is like I just took two pieces out of it and really try to incorporate it. And you know, after our meditation this morning I was talking to the teacher and I was like, oh, because it was. It wasn't a guided meditation, so it was. We did a sort of initial chant and then the invitation was sitting, the way that works for you. And so then after I was like, oh, so you know, it was yours like a mantra or like what was your sort of meditation. And he kind of just laughed because he said there's 84,000 ways that the mind can go sideways, and so there are 84,000 meditations and and so obviously you're not going to explore 84,000 meditations, right, like you're going to only sort of be able to explore. But I like that. You know, what I feel like you're sort of listening for is like, well, which is the next meditation that I need now? Right, and that.

Omar Brownson:

And meditation is whether that's a somatic practice, a creative practice and any agrarium type practice, and just be like, okay, that's the next one, you know, and there isn't necessarily like I've got to learn 84,000 meditations so that I understand every which way the mind isn't or the body isn't, or whichever isn't in alignment.

Omar Brownson:

It's just like okay, I'm listening. Okay, these two things, these are the next two meditations, and so we're going to introduce to you some more ways to kind of explore what serves you, and these are from the gratitude blooming card deck, which you know we're created by the artist Arlene Kim Suda, and it was her practice of noticing and the one of the ways that we talk about noticing with gratitude booming. And you know, it's like meditation begins with noticing each breath. Mindfulness begins with noticing change. Gratitude begins with noticing with your heart. All of these things are about bringing awareness to our noticing, and so I'm going to pull up the card deck this is our digital deck and you're going to be looking at seven rows, six columns, and this is like my Vanna white moment where I'm going to scroll and you tell me when you want to pause.

Belinda Liu:

Oh, and before we do the card poll, emily, please share what is your beautiful question today that is present and alive for you in this season of your life. We love to start with the question and see what nature has to say. So it can be any question, any question.

Emily Lynn:

I guess I would say how do you have patience when you want to get a lot done?

Omar Brownson:

So seven rows, six columns. So again, I'll just scroll.

Emily Lynn:

Okay, I think this third row that you're on second one in.

Omar Brownson:

Second one in how to have patience, number 15, representing hope with the azalea flower, and the prompt is take a moment to remember a time you were filled with hope. What do you need to feel like that now? So, as you look at the art, you look at the theme and you reflect on this prompt, how does hope or the azalea represent the opportunity to invite more patience in your life?

Emily Lynn:

Wow, Well, it's funny. To me the answer is so obvious because it's so connected. When I see the word hope, I can't help but hear this teaching. This isn't from me, but someone who said that to have practical hope not just like high level. I hope things are better one day, but practical hope is in the single action at a time, which is exactly what we were talking about at the beginning.

Omar Brownson:

That's amazing.

Emily Lynn:

And for the listener. The image and art on this card is a very sort of intricate arrangement of azaleas, kind of like the sort of wire sculptures we were talking about earlier, but it looks like something that's really intricate. That's a bunch of small things that came together so it fits.

Omar Brownson:

And now, reflecting on the prompt, take a moment to remember a time you were filled with hope. What do you need to feel like that now?

Emily Lynn:

I think, a combination of presence and patience. Just that. Really sorry, I keep repeating it, but it is true to where I am now in life, which is what you were all talking about, the sort of one single step or one single hour at a time. That's really how I approach things these days.

Omar Brownson:

Just the fact that you can take a step is both an act of hope, but also shows that hope is real In sort of a darkness or wherever there may be a feeling of not enoughness, an urgency of how do I move things forward.

Emily Lynn:

And it makes it to me smaller. I think these words can feel really big, but I think that singleness of a single step can help shrink it, at least for me.

Belinda Liu:

And also what I heard in your story, emily, is that your passions and your curiosities and your interests really brought you hope, in that you continue to explore creativity, you continue to explore different healing modalities throughout your journey of healing and that didn't stop you Like the physical limitations did not stop you from that.

Emily Lynn:

Thank you. Yeah, I think I'm realizing it's also just true. With a lot of health conditions they really force in the moment experience because it's A lot of health conditions you know are very unpredictable, susceptible to flares. It's like a forced or forces you right into the present where all this stuff we're talking about happens.

Omar Brownson:

I feel like your soft hand over a tight fist is such a great image for this, like, you know, like, whatever that difficult feeling is in your body in that moment, the practical hope, the next step is like how do I bring gentleness to it Right, when everything is sort of screaming, give up like just take an extra aspirin or whatever the sort of you know, potential medic, medicated approach might be. And you know, and hey, maybe sometimes that is the right thing, is just like, hey, you know what is the sort of soft way to kind of move forward. And I don't know, I just I love this idea of hard and soft Right, just like how do we hold space for both?

Belinda Liu:

And I would love, emily, for you to pick a card for our community, for people that need a bit of hope right now in their lives. Good love for Omar for you to flash the screen again and just have, emily, you pick the card for our listeners and our viewers.

Omar Brownson:

All right, and is there an intention that you, belinda or Emily, want to share for the community?

Belinda Liu:

I would say may this inspire hope in your life. You know, if you're finding it hard to find hope or feel hope, I hope this card will give you a clue to reconnect, Ah, no, 10.

Omar Brownson:

Alien trequetrim, representing self care. What can you do today and every day to nurture love for yourself? And the art, the flower is the single stem with a leaf that kind of is shooting out like a spout to the side. And for me, when I look at this, I always look at a faucet, it's like. Is self care this faucet that we can turn on and off right, and what do we want flowing in our lives? So this is a beautiful remembrance of what hope can look like. I know it comes up for you.

Belinda Liu:

I love that. It's another kind of affirmation of the step by step, day by day, moment to moment. You know, in some ways that's kind of the mundane that is so deep and subtle at the same time, and I feel like we've been picking this card a lot. For season three, I showed up in like three episodes at least now, and so I feel like maybe this is a larger message from nature, which is, you know, yes, there's so much we can do for the world, but we got to start with ourselves. And this plant, to me, always looks like an antenna in how it's looking at its own self, that leaf that is extending, and so I feel like it is kind of the moment of what do I need, but also what do I need for the next cycle. You know, a little bit more long range even and I would answer that with like rest, I'm really feeling this transition to fall and the colder weather on the land and the slowing down, the darker days, so I feel like it's inviting me to sleep longer.

Omar Brownson:

And now about for you, emily, as you think about the card hope that you received and now the card of self care for our community. What's coming up for you?

Emily Lynn:

Mostly that I'm going to take this one Like I'm. I feel like I'm a member of the community in this card poll and that I could really use this also. This is the exact balance to all of that slow building we've been talking about. And the other thing in my life that I try to balance is that I do need a lot of self care and I'm still really working on health and getting sort of autoimmune disease under control and it's a big one self care and pacing. So I'm glad we got this one.

Omar Brownson:

And, interestingly, these two themes are on the Garden of Healing album and they're back to back. So self care is song number three and hope is song number four. But I think, emily, since you said that you're going to, this card felt just as much for you as for the community. I feel like we should listen to the self care song to close us out, but before we do I don't know if there's anything else that you would like to share and, belinda, if there's anything that you would like to share with the community in terms of setting an intention as we listen to this closing song- For me.

Emily Lynn:

I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you so much for having me, and this whole discussion has been really fun. Thank you.

Belinda Liu:

Thank you, emily, and for me, what I would invite our listeners and viewers to do is put a soft hand to your heart as you listen to this song and really feel it with your heart.

Omar Brownson:

Thank you so much for pausing, for inviting hope and self-care and really just that step by step, and wish you the best on your journey and that sort of stringing those wires together.

Emily Lynn:

Thank you so so much.

Belinda Liu:

Thank you, emily, sending lots of hope and self-care to you all. Thank you. Cheers.

Omar Brownson:

Cheers.

People on this episode

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Belinda Liu

Co-host
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Omar Brownson

Co-host